Today’s birth story is shared by Aatreyi, a podcast listener who worked with a wonderful doula from East River Doula Collective. She shares her experience navigating pregnancy and birth in New York City (as is usually the case on this podcast). Aatreyi also talks about the pivotal role acupuncture played in starting her labor right before her due date, helping her avoid a medical induction. We discuss how the constant focus on percentiles and dilation numbers during her pregnancy and labor often added more stress than clarity, and how she learned to look beyond the numbers to trust her own experience. From switching care providers to finding support through her doula and community, this episode offers a candid look at the unexpected twists and turns pregnancy and labor can take as well as the importance of listening to your own instincts.
Resources:
East Harlem Neighborhood Health Action Center - prenatal (maternal) yoga
Chi Li Acupuncture (aka Qi Li Acupuncture) (Manhattan/Upper West Side)
Birth Matters podcast ep 96 with Nidhi Sharma - pelvic PT (also of Indian descent) mentioned in this episode who was told her baby was measuring small
Sponsor links:
Free “Pack for Your Best Birth” Packing List (with free mini-course option)
East River Doula Collective (find a doula, attend our free “Meet the Doulas” event)
Birth Matters NYC Childbirth Education Classes (Astoria, Queens and virtual)
*Disclosure: Links on this page to products are affiliate links; I will receive a small commission on any products you purchase at no additional cost to you.
Episode Topics:
Introduction to Aatreyi and her background
Journey to pregnancy and early support from friends and resources
Preparation for birth through education, prenatal yoga, and classes
Decision to switch from private OB practice to public hospital with midwives
Comparing care models: private OB vs. public midwifery practice
Navigating emotional and logistical challenges of changing providers
Managing concerns about baby's growth percentiles and understanding medical data
Importance of self-advocacy and education during pregnancy
Onset of labor and decision-making about when to go to the hospital
Early labor at home with doula and partner support
Pain management techniques: nitrous oxide and epidural experiences
Emotional impact of slow cervical dilation and rapid progression to full dilation
Challenges during pushing, including vacuum assistance and episiotomy
Emotional moment of birth and immediate postpartum care
Complications: misplaced epidural and need for stitches to be redone
Support from care team, doula, and partner throughout labor and delivery
Initial postpartum experience in the hospital
Breastfeeding challenges and conflicting advice from professionals
Emotional toll of feeding difficulties and concerns about baby's weight
Transition to supplementing with formula and establishing a feeding routine
Mental health impact of new parenthood and finding support
Importance of flexibility and adapting to unexpected changes
Value of a supportive care team and the role of the doula
Reflections on the unpredictability of birth and postpartum experiences
Reassurance and validation found in community and shared stories
Interview Transcript
Lisa (0s): You are listening to the Birth Matters podcast episode one thirty two.
Aatreyi (4s): Five days before my due date, I went to this acupuncturist and it was my first acupuncture ever in my life. So I didn't know what I was, what to expect, but the acupuncturist was like, you are carrying really high, you are nowhere clothes. So he did his magic and he's like, you have to come back in three days 'cause you're not going anywhere soon. So I went back in three days And he did his magic And he won't believe it. I think I saw him on Monday morning and midnight Tuesday was my due date. So Tuesday midnight, my water broke.
So I think he was quite effective.
Lisa (46s): Hey there and welcome to the Birth Matters Show. I'm your host Lisa Graves Taylor, founder of Birth Matters NYC, and director of East River Doula Collective. I'm a childbirth educator, birth doula and lactation counselor and I've been passionately supporting growing families since 2009. This show is here to lessen your overwhelm on the journey into parenthood by equipping and encouraging you with current best evidence, info, and soulful interviews with parents and birth pros.
Please keep in mind the information on this show is not intended as medical advice or to diagnose or treat any medical conditions. Are you following us on Instagram yet? We have lots of educational content there. So connect with us over at Birth Matters NYC. In today's episode, I'm joined by Aatreyi, a podcast listener who worked with a wonderful doula from our collective. She shares her experience navigating pregnancy and birth in New York City, as is usually the case on this podcast.
Aatreyi also talks about the pivotal role acupuncture played in starting her labor right before her due date, helping her avoid a medical induction. We discuss how the constant focus on percentiles and dilation numbers during her pregnancy and labor often added more stress than clarity and how she learned to look beyond the numbers to trust her own experience from switching care providers to finding support through her doula and community. This episode offers a candid look at the unexpected twists and turns pregnancy and labor can take as well as the importance of listening to your own instincts.
Before we jump in, I wanted to spread the word that we have officially posted Birth Matters group class series dates all the way through to the end of December. So be sure to grab your spot whether you prefer the in-person or virtual format. If a date you see isn't yet open for registration, you can email us to be put on the wait list and we'll be sure to notify you the moment we open your preferred series up for registration. Visit Birth Matters nyc.com for all the class options, whether you want group classes, which can be in-person or virtual If you want private classes or we also have an on your own schedule online course option.
Now let's hear from Aatreyi. Today I have with me Aatreyi. Hello. It's so good to see you.
Aatreyi (3m 15s): Hi Lisa. So nice to meet you finally. We've met briefly before but this is gonna be so much more meaningful and intimate. Thank you for having me here.
Lisa (3m 25s): I'm so thankful that you were excited and eager to share your birth story. So you are gonna say your name much more beautifully than I just did. I don't know if I did it quite right. Would you please just take a moment to introduce yourself?
Aatreyi (3m 39s): Sure. Lisa and you're doing great. It's a very tough name. So my name is Aatreyi and I'm really happy to be here. I live in New York City, I've been here for almost six years now and I just gave birth three months ago. So yeah, my baby's 12 weeks old and our fourth trimester passed and I'm so excited to be sharing my story here 'cause it's been such a journey. I live in East Harlem, my husband and I, we've been married for four years now and we've been really excited to be new parents to this beautiful child, my baby boy,
Lisa (4m 17s): Thank you so much. So you didn't take birth class with me. You're probably about to share a little bit about where you did get some education from a couple of different places and you came to find me through the doula collective. Is that correct?
Aatreyi (4m 33s): Exactly. That's right. Actually I really have to give credit to my colleague and friend Diana. She's the one who sent a lot of resources my way and she told me, start educating yourself and there's this lovely podcast you have to hear. And she literally, she was like, have you heard a podcast? Have you heard the podcast? My husband and I, we started, it was a ritual almost every night we would listen to the podcast like I think a lot of my pregnancy, I was jamming to your podcast and making puzzles, my thousand piece puzzles. And it was really fun because every story was great and that's one way I got introduced to you.
And then she also spoke highly about her doula and she was like, you should get a doula and there's this East River Doula Collective, check them out. And I came across your Meet the doula event and that's also where I actually met you and met so many lovely doulas and found my amazing doula, Julia Morrow. Yeah, so that's, I think that's how I've come across your work.
Lisa (5m 28s): Wonderful fun. So great, thanks. Would you mind sharing just a little bit more about anything you'd like to share about how pregnancy went, the ways that you prepared for birth and for parenthood?
Aatreyi (5m 41s): Of course. I think getting pregnant itself, I think we were quite fortunate. It was probably, it took us three months around the ballpark of three months and I remember I was meditating a lot at that time, actually just calling the good wives and once we found out we were pregnant, I think it was five weeks or six weeks along and it was just so exciting. Also very, I was very nervous 'cause of course this is my first child, first pregnancy and generally when I look back at my time being pregnant, I think it was quite a smooth pregnancy.
My first trimester, I think I just had a little bit of nausea here and there. Second trimester I had a lot of energy. We were traveling a lot, so we were able to go back to visit our family back in India. So I think second trimester was really great that way. And third trimester, I guess naturally I was slowing down. I could really feel it. I think I was doing a lot of prenatal yoga, a lot of Zumba throughout the pregnancy. I think like close to 27 weeks. Zumba being like just like very light Zumba, nothing too much.
And prenatal yoga, there's actually a very really great Harlem Center near me which does free prenatal yoga. So I was going for that, meeting other moms there. So those were some ways I was keeping myself active. And I think education wise I was, I'd only wanted to educate myself and I, I think Diana really encouraged me to do that. So I did these classes with the baby academy. They were online and I met, I came across Christine Gibson who is also part of your doula collective and I did a couple of classes with her.
I did a class on induction of labor and a class on breastfeeding. So those were how I was educating myself. And of course we had the amazing podcast. I was reading the books, the usual books, I think Emily Oster’s Expecting Better. I was watching documentaries again, Diana was very insistent that I watch the business of being born. And when I watched that, I think I know things have changed since then. But watching that was actually, it was one of the pivot moments in my pregnancy because I started rethinking where I was getting my care from.
I was initially with Garden OB GYN in the city, which is in Midtown. And I started thinking, am I in the right place? Because they had assigned me to Lennox Hill. I think I'm jumping the gun here. But at that point I, whoever I was talking to, researching with asking other moms, they all were telling me that Lenox Hill is great. It has the best surgeons in the city, it's incredible. But they are heavy on C-sections. So I obviously as much as possible wanted to give a vaginal delivery or normal delivery.
So I thought, okay, I don't know if I'm in the right place. And that's where I enter meet the doula event. This was around the second trimester, 24 weeks where I was also looking at selecting a doula for myself. So in the Meet the Doula event, I don't know If you remember, I was actually, I asked, I said it that I'm currently with Lennox Hill and I'm looking to switch and I would love your recommendations and in the breakout room that you put us in each breakout room, each and every doula I asked, it was amazing. Everyone said that Metropolitan is the way to go.
Yeah. Especially because I live in East Harlem, right? So I'm in East Harlems. They're like, okay, it's a no brainer. It's right around the corner where you live. Metropolitan is really good. So I think in all of the pregnancy, that was a moment where I switched care from garden OBGYN to midwives and there was a bit of a panic, am I doing the right thing? Is it too late? How many weeks were you when you were doing this? 24 weeks. 24, okay. Yeah. But they took me in metropolitan and all my records and everything went through and it was quite smooth. The transition.
Yeah, that's pretty much how the pregnancy went. And then once I was at Metropolitan, I was, again, there were times that I was like, did I make the right choice? Did we make the right decision? There was a lot of difference between the two practices, I have to say between Garden ob, GYN and Metropolitan. Metropolitan is of course it's a public hospital. So there are some challenges in the sense of just to clarify a billing question or to get an appointment or to reschedule it. It takes a lot of effort. It's a lot of calling and waiting. Even at appointments there were long waits.
But in garden OB GYN, they're very customer friendly in a way they like, there's a fancy 24 7 concierge who you can call anytime there's, when you go for sonograms they'll give you fancy printouts, they'll give you a 3D sonograms and they're like, the machines are very modern and fancy. You can see what the monitor is seeing. But at Metropolitan it's not like that. It's very different. It's almost like you're in a different era entirely. I remember I went for a midwife appointment and they didn't have any machines. They were just like doing the top left effect and to see the heartbeat, to hear the heartbeat and they would just measure my stomach and be like, okay, you are so far along and that's it.
So I was like, what? That's it. Is that it? But honestly in retrospect it was okay because we are gonna talk about the birth story and Metropolitan was amazing. Some other differences were also like I think Metropolitan had just two sonographers, so every appointment there was a lot of wait time 'cause there were so many people they were seeing. But yeah, those were subtle differences. It was okay, we got past it and I think they have quite a few midwives. So every appointment I was trying to see different midwives and just because you don't know who's gonna be there at your birth. So it was always good to get exposure to different midwives and that was about switching where I get care from Generally.
I think the pregnancy, yeah, as I said was smooth, but I did have swollen legs a lot in the last trimester, which I guess is is very normal little bit of back pain here and there, which is I guess also normal. And yeah, I think in the third trimester was really in my nesting phase where I was researching a lot on baby products, buying and assembling baby items. That's also the time when I had my two prenatal meetings with my lovely doula Julia. She came home and she was answering all my questions and so patient, like sharing videos and resources that I can watch and later for educating myself further.
And my due date, I think two weeks before my due date at three eight weeks, she also recommended I start eating a diet and having raspberry tea leaves. And I was definitely having those, I don't know if those helped, but it was nice to do those things.
Lisa (12m 1s): Gives you at least a little sense of agency. Like you feel like you're trying something.
Aatreyi (12m 5s): Exactly. Because the weight had begun and I had already started my maternity leave whatever 10, 10 days in advance of my due date. And almost all my friends I knew went past their due date. They were giving birth at 41 weeks or so and maternity leave is precious. So I wanted to give birth on my due date or at least close to it. Yet again, Diana had recommended this acupuncturist that she went to and she said, why don't you try this? 'cause you know you're getting close to your due date. And it was like, okay, let me try this.
So I think five days before my due date I went to this acupuncturist, he's in the upper West side, I think it's called Chile practice. And it was my first acupuncture ever in my life. So I didn't know what I was, what to expect, but they, yeah, the person who saw me, the acupuncturist five days before my due, he was like, you are carrying really high, you're nowhere close. And I'm like, oh okay. So he did his magic and he's, you have to come back in three days 'cause you're not going anywhere soon. So I'm like, oh okay. So I went back in three days and I don't know, he saw me And he said okay, you're carrying a little low now maybe he's a little low but it's still not low enough so I'm gonna do it again.
He did his magic And he won't believe it. I think I saw him on Monday morning and Tuesday midnight Tuesday was my due date. So Tuesday midnight my water broke. So I think he was quite effective. And even the reviews of this practice actually I saw someone had written that they went to do immediately. Yeah I think they were pretty good. I'll
Lisa (13m 35s): Have to get information for the show notes page 'cause everyone's gonna wanna contact
Aatreyi (13m 40s): Yeah, hundred
Lisa (13m 41s): Percent in that area anyway. And I actually am wondering if that is one of the doulas in my collective, Sophia shared her birth stories and referred to an upper West side acupuncturist as well who was just magical. And now I'm wondering if it was the same acupuncturist still have to check that
Aatreyi (13m 57s): It may be. 'cause Sophia probably wasn't she? Diana's doula. Yeah, we are all connected,
Lisa (14m 2s): Right?
Aatreyi (14m 3s): Yeah. Yeah. So I think he was probably very successful. Yeah, I have good things to say because I was carrying pretty high. I kept, I used to keep looking at the middle and I'm like is my belly too high? But yeah. Anyway, so yeah that was my pregnancy.
Lisa (14m 19s): I have a couple of questions with Baby Academy. I'm not really familiar with that course. It was an online Childbirth Education course.
Aatreyi (14m 27s): Yes. It was just like a two or three hour online session where Oh
Lisa (14m 31s): Really short, you know? Okay.
Aatreyi (14m 32s): Yeah it was really short and I did two different things with them. One was just baby care and another was a two day course where they talked about the entire birthing and the phases and they have a lot of material and they show you slides on that and they share those files data as well. And it was insurance covered so it was practically free. So yeah, baby academy was pretty good. Cool.
Lisa (14m 54s): Between that and Christine's classes, was there anything that pops out to you as having been some of the most helpful things?
Aatreyi (15m 3s): Yeah, that's a really good question because yeah, that's another thing I should probably mention is that my baby was measuring small throughout I think midway through my pregnancy. Every sonogram I would go to, they would tell me, oh baby, you know the percentiles they threw at you. So I think my baby was at nine percentile and then another time it was at seven percentile as per the measurements. So they kept telling me if it falls at five percentile or below, they're going to push me towards induction of labor. And I didn't really know what that meant.
So I think Christine's class on induction of labor was so important because I knew this was on the horizon with the baby percentile the size that they were telling me. I think that was very important. And a lot of times when my friends or someone approaches and tells me that they're pregnant, I always tell them, just be sure you educate yourself even about induction of labor. 'cause it is a growing practice. It is more and more women I know have been getting induced for some reason or the other. And I think it really helps to know what are different phases that you know you can go through with the induction process.
So yeah, I would definitely recommend educating on that part. There was a lot to learn.
Lisa (16m 13s): Yeah, agreed. Yeah. So many clients have really raved about Christine's induction class in particular. Okay. Yeah. And we doulas in our collective, we're always comparing notes and just trying to figure out how to better serve our families that we're supporting and, and we've been seeing inductions at least here in the city and likely, I'm guessing probably across the nation based on a, this study that came out a few years ago called the Arrive trial. That's part of it I think. But in the last four years or so especially we've just seen in the city just skyrocketing.
So I've been spending more time on the induction and augmentation section in my own class as well. And we're just trying to really help people make informed choices on that and make choices that feel good for them surrounding this thing that is so many families are being really strongly pressured and not always in a medically necessary way. In fact more often than not fully medically necessary. Yeah. And that's hard to navigate. I'm sorry that you had that layer of stress I imagine with the baby measuring small
Aatreyi (17m 18s): To some extent and they kept telling me to eat more protein, which is not the worst solution. Eat more sure why not? And yeah, we were always nervous, okay, what percentile is he gonna measure now? But yeah, it was something we were a little nervous with. We're gonna talk more about what's happening now and he's always been measuring small and I really appreciate, I think one of the doctors we met with during the pregnancy very clearly said that the data that you're being measured, like when I ask what is this percentile, what does it mean seven percentile, six percentile. So they told me you're being measured against the data that we have, which is typically for Caucasian babies or typically for African American babies and Indian babies may be measuring small.
It is possible. And a lot of other Indian moms, Indian friends that I have and I asked, they were like, yeah, we were always measuring small as well. Yeah. So maybe I think that's another thing. Maybe it's not worth looking too much into the numbers as long as your baby's kicking and then you are doing well. I think that's what's important and not focusing on the number. Yes.
Lisa (18m 17s): Yeah. Another podcast episode is coming to mind with a pelvic pt. I don't know If you heard this one, whose baby was measuring small and she had some similar kind of some similar challenges to navigate. Yeah, okay. Makes sense. If I can, I'll link to it in the show notes in case anyone is interested. Great. Anything else you wanted to share about pregnancy before you jump into sharing about how the labor started and how it proceeded?
Aatreyi (18m 45s): No, I think that's about it. Yeah, a lot of education, a lot of activity, a lot of help from our doula and switching practices. I think those were the main points. So yeah, I think we're good.
Lisa (18m 55s): Oh wait, I did have one other question. So when you switched, you shared some details about comparing the two kinds of practices, especially highlighting the difference between the public kind of a clinic feel versus a private feel in terms of the actual like interpersonal dynamic between, can you just share any observations between that? Like how are we, how were you treated? Was there a difference in how you were treated switching from the OB practice to the midwifery practice and how you felt emotionally?
Aatreyi (19m 26s): Yeah, from that it's really interesting you ask 'cause I'm definitely thinking more about it. Garden obgyn of course I was seen by OBGYNs and whenever I would ask a question there was an attitude in terms of, you know, it's pregnancy, it's novel. Like it was almost dismissive in a way. Don't bother, we are looking at your numbers, you're okay. These questions are not warranted for midwives I would say I always have. So I'm someone who's very prepared and always has like a long list of questions at doctor's appointments, at midwives also I, I would have these questions and they would patiently answer my question and a lot of midwives, they would go into the details of answers and be very caring in terms of how I was seen.
So yeah, there was a level of care I felt the midwives were very nice, very sweet. I remember one midwife especially, I'm not good with names, but there was a lot of motherly feel from the midwives there. It was very caring for sure. But the nurses I think in both places were great. They were equally good. Yeah,
Lisa (20m 24s): Thanks so much for sharing. Alright, we'll go ahead and jump into your birth story. Start wherever you wanna start. I imagine that's when the water broke.
Aatreyi (20m 33s): Yeah, so I actually had the privilege that I had a couple of other very close friends who were pregnant at the same timeline as me. We were constantly sharing notes like how are you feeling today and how are you doing today? And my close friend, she told me, okay, I'm feeding a lot of contractions this week and I was always looking out for am I feeding contractions and I wouldn't really feel anything. And I'm like, I don't know what's happening. A couple of days to my due date, my mucus plug, I did notice come out. But I think that grows back. So it wasn't a point of concern. And again, Julia was always, especially the week of the due date, she was checking in every day I would tell her, oh my mucus plug came out or whatever.
And she would be like, no that's fine. There's nothing to worry on that. When my water broke I wasn't a hundred percent sure it broke as usual. So I was like, is this just a bunch of mucus or is this really water breaking? So I did do the pad test where I kept a pad to see if it got drenched and it did get drenched. And this was, yeah, midnight. So around 2:00 AM I think I finally messaged Julia that hey I think my water is broken. And we were again a little iffy at that point, should we go to the hospital or not?
And Julia was very clear that, look, If you go to the hospital now, they won't keep you there because once water breaks they think you might get an infection. But to be honest, If you stay at home, this is your bacteria, this is your home, it's your ties, you may not be at so much of a risk. So it's up to you what decision you take. But you could labor at home for a little while and when it's at a more advanced stage then go to the hospital. Yeah, we, I think we took that into consideration. We were like, okay, let's wait it out. 'cause it was 2:00 AM and we were like, what are we gonna do at this time at the hospital if they're gonna keep me for super long?
So I'm really glad we were at home. I think, yeah, around 3:00 AM my contraction started. My husband, he was just amazing. He started timing my contractions. They were around a comfortable eight to seven, seven to eight minutes apart. And now looking back, those were really mild contractions. And at eight 30 I think Julia came home and she saw me, she said, oh, this is still early labor, you're still chilling. And I'm like, okay, wow. If this is chilling, okay, we are in trouble. So yeah, I think we were just, even at home, Julia was showing me different positions to write the contractions.
And around noon we were like, okay, now let's head slowly towards the hospital. I live on the eighth floor. So again, taking Julia's advice, we climbed down the stairs and we walked to the hospital the 10 blocks, which I still look back and laugh at. Yeah, she walked. So I must have been in very early labor, but at that it didn't feel like early labor. It felt like, oh my god, this is happening anytime. Once we reached the hospital, they saw me in the triage room. They checked if my water had really broken. So there was a swab test I think for that.
And they also did my first cervical check. So at this point of the pregnancy, like I had really evaded all cervical checks. Like I was very terrified of it. But again, I think at this point they were like, no, we have to do a check at this point. So it was very unpleasant. And I held Julia's hand, I held my husband's hand and I got through it. It was actually not as bad as I thought. I was really terrified of it, but it was honestly not as bad as I was expecting it to be anyway. So at that point they told me I'm just one centimeter dilated, 60% past.
And I'm like, what 12 hours have passed since my water has broken And you're telling her just one centimeter dilated. So anyway, they were like, yeah, but your water has broken so we are going to admit you. So again, this is the public hospital aspect of it. I think I was given a room in labor and delivery only at 4:00 PM or something. So I was waiting in the trash room till then. We got into my room at 6:00 PM and they did my second cervical check. And at that time the midwife was like, oh, you're 1.5 centimeters dilated. And I'm like six, like six hours have passed and I'm just 0.5 centimeter more dilated, what is going on?
But she said, you are 80% effaced. So I was like, okay, sure. And I think at that point I was really fixating on the dilation, the centimeter and not the effacement. Now looking back, I think he, effacement was also something I should have considered.
Lisa (24m 43s): Yeah, I feel like there's such an overfocus on dilation I think. May I, and I'm wondering if part of it might have to do with the idea that dilation is an easier cognitive concept to picture to visualize than effacement. When I was pregnant, it wasn't until I became a birth worker and had already given birth twice, had like really had someone describe it as, oh, it's like the baby's pushing the head through a turtleneck and the fabric is thinning and that's the effacement. And we quantify that in terms of percentages.
It wasn't until I had that visual described to me and now I described it that way in birth class as well. Yeah. That it made it more physical sense. And so I've never actually thought about that until I'm verbally articulating it right now that just the idea that maybe that's why a lot of us like really focus on the dilation or maybe it feels like our providers are really focusing so much more on that than the effacement and where the baby is. I don't know.
Aatreyi (25m 39s): Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually such a good point because now that I'm thinking back when they would tell me the centimeter, they would also say, I'm sorry. So I'm guessing that's not encouraging to be five centimeters dilated. I'm sorry. So I'm like, oh, okay. So that must not be good. And that's why I think even I was focusing on the dilation for that because if they were focusing on your ment, they were like, oh yeah, you're 80% of face. But they weren't doing that. So yeah, you're probably right. It's a mix of the two, the visual and the, and how it's set.
Lisa (26m 9s): It can play mind games with us though. And the mind-body connection is so real, it can really mess with us a lot. And it's also easy to get our minds into this idea that birth is linear and that it's gonna be a clockwork kind of progress. But you so many people could go from one centimeter to 10 in no time. Yeah. Sit at one, one and a half for hours and hours. Anyway. That's that, yeah. That's neither here nor there that it just occurred to me.
Aatreyi (26m 34s): I love it when you say that. Even in other episodes that birth is not linear because my water broke and then I was really feeding the contractions, but clearly my dilation was somewhere else. My basement was somewhere else. Everything was happening at a very different pace. I was definitely very disheartened with the slow progress at that point. It was, sure. Yeah. Yeah. And I was also tired. I hadn't eaten. I don't feel like eating at this point. But anyway, we, that's when I think we started my first pain management method, which is nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide was so interesting because when they started me on it, I kid you not the first 10 minutes, I just wanna take the machine and throw it on someone because I was like, this is not working.
This is who, no wonder no one uses. This is so bad. But once again, Julia to the rescue, she really coached me on how to use it. And this is honestly a technique. I feel like classes should probably teach you how to use nitrous oxide. 'cause I know a lot of dentists do that. They use it. But I don't know if everyone has had practice with it. I, it was definitely my first time and there was very clearly a technique in using it and understanding when to start the breathing, when to stop it. And she was great in showing you different positions and riding through with each contraction using nitrous oxide and music.
I think she was, she was like, let's play some music that you like. So yeah, I'm a big Bollywood fan and I love this particular actor from Bollywood. So I put my husband on duty to constantly play his music and his videos so that every time I looked at the phone I could see him. I had to look at my Shah Rukh Khan, that's the actor's name. So it was just something fun. And now that I think back at it that I did six hours on nitrous oxide till midnight early, just riding through with the music and the positions and It was like peanut ball and nothing the big, the giant ball doing different positions on that
Lisa (28m 20s): Bollywood. I haven't had anybody talk about Bollywood in labor. I love that because I just, it's so joyous.
Aatreyi (28m 26s): Yeah,
Lisa (28m 27s): It's so joyous. It's one of my favorite things.That's so cool. Yeah.
Aatreyi (28m 31s): Yeah, it was lovely actually now, and the thing is I know his music so well that I, I was singing along, can you believe it? While in contraction, singing along to old Bollywood songs. But yeah, it was important to me.
Lisa (28m 45s): So a combination of different things it sounds like helped. Yeah, at least for a time better than Yes. At first just the nitrous did.
Aatreyi (28m 53s): Yes. And by that I was in all my discussion, education, prenatal meetings or everything, midwives. I really wanted a natural birth. I wanted to use minimal pain management. That was my intention at least to go with vaginal delivery and a lot of different things. But nitrous oxide was like the first thing I was okay using pain management. Then I was really trying to be pumped up and no, I can do this, I can do this. I got this, I got this. But come midnight of the next day, so now 24 hours have passed.
They did my third cervical check at this point. And this was a different midwife 'cause shift had changed and she did the cervical check and she said, you're two centimeters dilated. I'm sorry. So again, I just moved 0.5 centimeter long and at this point I think I was crying, I was bawling, I, I was like, how is this 24 hours have passed and how is this possible? I was so frustrated. My husband was as well. He was so strong. It was, no, it's okay. We've made a lot of progress. You've done so well. And Julia is, she's very compassionate.
She's like, I'm really sorry this is not going as you planned as for your birth plan. But I think because I had not got any rest, that's why the midwife suggested we start epidural. As you get some rest, you're gonna need it. So you will do the epidural.
Lisa (30m 7s): I'm assuming you hadn't slept in that whole 24 hours.
Aatreyi (30m 11s): No, I had not slept.
Lisa (30m 11s): That's rough. Yeah, that's hard. Yeah,
Aatreyi (30m 13s): I And
Lisa (30m 14s): Your body's already working so hard. Exactly.
Aatreyi (30m 16s): And I was also on IV drips because I was dehydrated. Yeah. I think it was a good call to start epidural at that point. Sure. But I did have a lot of bad luck in my labor here and there. So the first time they administered the epidural, the team that came in to do that, they didn't hit the right spot. I don't know, for whatever reason it was early morning they couldn't find the right place. Then it caused a wet tap, something called a wet tap. And they had also started pitocin in parallel. So what they decided is, because it was not administered correctly, they let the epidural that was in my system wear off and give me another dose of epidural properly.
So there was definitely a point around 3:00 AM or so when the Pitocin had really kicked in and I was in a lot of pain and the epidural had worn out. So it was, it was really painful. But then the team was very quick in administering the epidural correctly this time. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if this is common. I've definitely not heard of epidural being put incorrectly. So that was new. I didn't know about, I wish I was more educated on that actually. But it is what it is. They were quite apologetic about it.
But yeah, anyway, finally around three 30 with my epidural dose was properly administered, I got some rest, I was able to close my eyes and go to sleep and yeah, I think around 5:36 AM I woke up feeling a lot of pressure. And that's again, when I think my connection with Julia was so important because she knew things before the midwife told me she knew things before anyone else had to tell me. I think she sensed where I was in my dilation and I asked her, what does this mean? I'm feeling pressure and she's, I don't wanna raise your expectations, let's wait it out, but for the meantime, let's focus on the pressure that you're feeling and what you're going to start doing.
So she started telling me, okay, these are the different kinds of push, different positions to push when to push. So it was interesting, so around 6:00 AM that all of these things started happening. And then the midwife came to do my fourth, this was a different midwife now. So she came to do my fourth cervical check and actually this was the second midwife, but she was transitioning and handing over to another midwife. So I think 7:00 AM was a shift change. So anyways, so both of them were there and they did my cervical check and they said, oh, you're 10 centimeters dilated.
And I was shocked. I can't tell you how shocked I was because I was two centimeters dilated at like midnight and at 6:00 AM I was 10 centimeters dilated. So it seemed like in a few hours I suddenly made a lot of progress. And I also have to say the cervical checks got much easier. So the four cervical checks I had throughout the label process, each was easier than the other than the previous. I don't know, maybe if it's the dilation that helps or what, but yeah, that was interesting. So yeah, 7, 7 30, the shift changes.
I'm 10 and dilated. I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I'm pushing, Julia is on one side, my husband on the other side. And it was just, I don't know if it's a moment that I think I'll never forget because suddenly the room was so full of people, I can't explain how many people just from two three of us, there were now suddenly 20 people in the room because there were like, there, the shift change happening, there were a bunch of nurses incoming and outgoing. There seemed to be like a pediatric team setting up. There was an OB GYN team setting up, I think if I had to be rolled out for an emergency C-section.
There were a lot of people. And then there was the midwife, there was the midwife herself. So yeah, it was suddenly very overwhelming. And I'm looking at you, I'm like, that's a lot of people. And she's, yeah, that, that is a lot. And that's how I knew like the moment was here, the time had come. So yeah, I started pushing, using the different methods to push. But I think the most effective was when with my leg, like one leg on my husband, one leg on Julia. So that was really helpful too. That position was helpful. And this went on for, I think up to, I wanna say 45 minutes of pushing, 45, 1 hour to 45 minutes of pushing.
They, I think at that point they were using a different metric, like the baby has to come down different stages, one to five. So as the baby comes down, I was still at stage one and they were trying to progress me to two, three and so on and so forth. Now, I think at eight 15 or so, there was a lot of pressure to really push hard because baby's heart rate was dropping. And that's something that they started growing really concerned about. They were like, oh, baby's heart rate is down, baby's heart rate is down.
And it makes you nervous as well, right? When you're pushing, you're like, oh my god, I don't know what's happening. So that's when they started doing different thought types of, as you said, augmentation I think different types of different methods to help the pushing process. The first thing I think was like the midwife putting her finger in and she was like, okay, feel my finger and try to push there where you feel the finger.
Lisa: That's common. Yeah. Yeah.
Aatreyi: I, I don't know if that's what pushed me to hear. Exactly. So that was the first thing we were trying. I think that helped a little bit, but not much.
And then the OBGYN, who was there, she was, she was I think a resident there and she said, okay, I think we should try vacuum now. And I was open to it and I was always looking at you. I was like, what do you think? And you know, should like, yeah, let's give it a shot. I'm like, okay. So we did vacuum attempt one when I was pushing, trying to, they tried to bring the baby out with the vacuum. It helped very little and then they tried the vacuum a second time and that also just helped very little. So I think the baby's heart rate was really at distress.
So they were like, okay, things are not looking good. The person, the resident, the OBGYN there, she very clearly told me that we will have to start discussing C-section. There's just one last thing we can try. And that's an episiotomy. And I have to say I was very against episiotomy and I, my impulsive answer was no to everything, even to vacuum. My first answer was no. And then I would tell, I would look at Julia and she would say, let's do it. So with episiotomy, I was like, no, I don't want that. It just seemed very, it felt very painful. It seemed very painful in my mind, it was very daunting.
But again, Julia was like, I think you should give this a chance. It was like, okay, I'll take her word for it. And yeah, my husband was, of course he was there And he was watching everything. He was seeing everything. And he tells me that the episiotomy was the most successful cut he's ever seen in his life. Because as soon as she made the cut, my baby just burst out of me. Literally burst out of me crying. Yeah, it was, it was really, I'm so grateful for that OBGYN who really ensured that we didn't have to go for a C-section. And she was trying all these different avenues like vacuum and episiotomy to ensure I gave a vaginal birth.
And once the baby was out, they started focusing on placenta and getting the placenta out. And I was, in my mind, I was just looking and I was like, where's my baby? Where's my baby? So I could hear him crying. And that was when they were like weighing him and they were giving him his shots and his eye drops and things like that. And yeah, that brings the 33 hour labor not that I was counting. I was like, wow, 33 hours of labor. It finally came to an end.
Lisa: That's a long time.
I mean it was a, it was a really long time and I'm still really shocked how quickly it went from two centimeters to 10 centimeters that quickly.
And even once the placenta came out, I think my luck was, I just wasn't having the best day or something because they started doing the stitches and for some reason the OB GYN said there isn't enough light in this room and the stitches are looking messy. So I think we need to redo them. So they had to roll me out to the OR and do a 90 minute, they undid my stitches and did my stitches again.
Lisa (37m 45s): What! An epidural redo and a stitches redo. What? What, what? Oh.
Aatreyi (37m 47s): Thank you. Yeah. I was like, why am I having such bad luck? But yeah, though that said, they were very nice in the sense that before we push you to the OR for the stitches being redone, let's give you your golden hour. So they brought the baby to me and we did skin to skin, baby latched on. I actually did miss mentioning this that in my pregnancy from 19 weeks onwards, I was already leaking Colostrum, baby had that.
And it was amazing. I think my baby was brought to me, I was crying, Julia was crying. It was so emotional. And the midwife was like, oh, look at that. This is so beautiful. And we have photos from this moment. And yeah, I, that was really, I think just a memory, probably the best moment in my life. I don't think there was a moment bigger than that. But yeah. And then after that they of course took me to the OR
Lisa (38m 42s): And did baby go with you?
Aatreyi (38m 44s): No, baby stayed back. My husband was there with him. My husband got to do skin to skin at that time with him for 90 minutes when I was getting my stitches. Yeah. And that was, I remember when I was getting my stitches redone, the OBGYN person, he was it the, there was the woman who was, who did all the episiotomy and everything. And I think there was someone who was supervising her. He, I remember he, he was talking And he was like, oh my god, she's so tight. She's on epidural and she's still so tight and this is, yeah, it was funny. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I'm still like, I was feeling tightness even, I could still feel things even though there was epidural.
It was probably towards the end at this point, but I could still feel things and the, and the stitches. I could definitely feel like I could feel the tugs wherever it was. But yeah, after that it was finally done. I was cleaned up and then I was moved to the postpartum room where, you know, I spent two nights in the hospital because that was my work story. And Julia was just so amazing. And she of course visited us later as a postpartum visit, but that's where she said, okay, now you're in good hands, you're gonna be great. And she was always checking in even in those two nights in the hospital.
So yeah, that's the end of the birth story. Birth part at least.
Lisa (39m 57s): Yeah. Thank you so much. Did Julia, was she able to go with you to the OR? And I know you said baby couldn't but
Aatreyi (40m 6s): No they didn't let anyone. I wanted my husband there. I wanted Julia there, but they said no, no one can. Sorry. Yeah.
Lisa (40m 14s): You said it was about an hour and a half it sounded like.
Aatreyi (40m 16s): Yes, yes. It was hour
Lisa (40m 17s): While it was quite a while.
Aatreyi (40m 19s): Yeah, I guess because of the episiotomy or whatever the cuts. Yeah.
Lisa (40m 23s): Okay. So moving on from there, what would you like to share about initial postpartum, your two nights in the hospital and beyond?
Aatreyi (40m 32s): Yeah, I was so naive to think that breastfeeding would go easy. I was like, oh, I'm already leaking colostrum, so I'm gonna be great and latching is gonna be great. And I was so confident I had done Christine's breastfeeding class. I had even met with a lactation consultant before. So I was like, oh, I'm ready for this. I'm so into this. But yeah, I couldn't, it couldn't be further from the truth because baby did latch well. And again, because he was measuring small throughout pregnancy, he even came out weighing small. So they were constantly monitoring his glucose levels.
They were like, he has to eat. If he's not eating, his glucose, his levels are gonna be all over the place and we won't be able to discharge you. So there was a lot of pressure on breastfeeding then. But yeah, while the latch was good, baby was always going to sleep on the breast. He was just not having it. And I would keep tickling his feet and he would, the nurses would keep trying to wake him up, but he was like, no, I'm tired and I could understand him. I was like, yeah, if I've been to 33 hours of labor. So has he. So he's,
Lisa (41m 30s): Yeah. And they're so sleepy in general in the first two weeks, but some sleepier than others. Yeah, it's hard to keep them awake.
Aatreyi (41m 37s): Yeah. So I actually had to start pumping in the hospital itself and whatever I could pump out that colostrum, we had to give him through like syringes into his mouth and that's how we would ensure his glucose. It was, we were like okay the two nights in the hospital. Otherwise it was very educational. 'cause you can see videos of how diapers are changed and you can see videos of how baby care is done when they cry, what you do, the swaddling. But to actually do it is a very different thing. And to do it on your baby is a very different thing. So the nurses were very helpful in teaching and patiently going through it.
Metropolitan itself, I would say was very heavy on breastfeeding. Like they would really double down on, you have to do breast milk, you have to go breastfeeding and try to do it for the year. Or there was a lot of what happens inside the breast, what's latching, how, what's the frequency. So there was a lot of education. I think every nurse almost had a monologue prepared or like they had, they were given a script or something. Each and every nurse was telling us, okay, breastfeeding is really good, this is very powerful. Please try to breastfeed as much as possible. And that's absolutely necessary.
You have to go for other things. Yeah, they were very education, they taught me very, a lot of different things, a lot of different positions. Even for breastfeeding. Yeah, I think once I was discharged I would really say my recovery was very fast. As soon as I was home, everything was fine. I had some medications I think like laxatives and things like that. But generally I wasn't, I was able to move and didn't have much of an issue. So yeah, recovery was fast. I won't deny that. And to the extent that I could go grocery shopping, I could, after a few days we were so grateful to the team in metropolitan.
We also went, walked back to the hospital and just said thank you to all the nurses and the OB, GYN that we met with. We took a picture with the OBGYN, we took help with the episiotomy and everything. Yeah, recovery was fast. If there was one thing I would say is the wet tap was a nightmare. I would randomly have very severe headaches and I don't know if epidural headaches are this common, but the severity of it was very high. I couldn't move. I had to keep everything and sit down for a few minutes 'cause I'm like, if I'm holding the baby, I'm gonna fall down or something.
And the headaches kept coming. I would say they were very strong the first few weeks and then they really took up to six weeks to totally go. And they had given me medication for it for the acetaminophen. And, and funny enough, my husband was very amused that one of the solutions to the wet tap was caffeine. So I was recommended to have coffee and they're giving me tablets as well. So yeah, these were the different things that I was using for WhatsApp. But the headaches were really bad. Yeah, that, that's that one. That's one thing I would say about the initial postpartum.
But yeah, then comes the challenges with nursing and with breastfeeding. I think the first four weeks we were purely breastfeeding. It's just that he was crying a lot and maybe I was trying, we were trying to figure out what, why is he crying other than the diaper changes, what is causing the crying? Is he not getting enough at the breast? And that's why we were giving him a lot of breast time. We have a lot of days we were like, okay, this is a cluster feeding day. Not sure he's crying a lot. He's hungry a lot. We even met with the lactation consultant. We went to the pediatrician at Metropolitan, we went to the pediatrician at Tribeca Pediatrics.
So that was again, a little confusing because each was giving us different perspectives. Lactation consultant was like, yeah, keep him on the breast, give him as much rest time. This is soothing for him. This is pacifying for him. This is a good bonding time. But the pediatrician at Tribeca was like, absolutely to not do that, you need breaks, you need rest, you need to time it to two, at least two hours apart. If you don't do that, he's just gonna, he's just gonna sleep on your breast. No one's benefiting from that. Very confusing time again.
And
Lisa (45m 15s): How did you feel? What did you think about those different
Aatreyi (45m 18s): Pieces of advice? After every time we met a professional, both my husband and I would come back very full of confidence and jacked up. Be like, yeah, now we've got this, we've got the recipe to success and you feel so confident. And then in a couple of days we would fall back into our pattern of having that issue. So it was confusing, but I think we would always really follow the advice to the T. So with the lactation consultant, whatever she said, we followed it to the T, it didn't work. We went to the P to try pediatrics and what they told us that worked.
So we're like, okay, we'll stick with this. So whatever worked, we just stuck with that. Emotionally, of course it was very confusing. We are like, and as, as a mother, I could really, I was beginning to understand the mom guilt and understand, you know, am I failing him? Is trying to think if I'm the problem. Am I, is my supply an issue? But they kept saying, no, your supply is good. 'cause I, I had, I was, you know, I would also bump here and there. And they were like, no, your supply is fine. But yeah, it was a confusing time for sure. And then just after some point, maybe the baby also grows up a little and you start understanding, the baby starts understanding you.
So I think after four weeks we had understood, okay, this is what it is. This is when he is hungry, this is when he is crying out of whatever else. But yeah, we also had, I think after four weeks, we also had one week where like my baby just refused to poop and again tried pediatrics. They said that's completely normal. Up to eight days is fine. They don't have that much to prove at that point. We had a lot of gas trouble in another week. Again, the pediatrician, the person, the pediatrician we saw, they gave us the gas drops to use and they showed us different movements that helped with releasing gas.
So I feel like the first six weeks we were running to the pediatrician a lot. And to be honest, after that point we didn't go to the pediatrician as much. So it just took some time to figure it out. Maybe we were nervous as new parents. We were just like, we don't know what's happening. Help us. That's normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think finally we had a rhythm at my six week appointment, postpartum visit. They said, okay, everything looks good. You're fully recovered. Even baby was doing okay though. I have to say size has always been a problem.
Weight has always been a problem with my baby. 'cause even in pregnancy the percentiles were bad. Not as good I would say. And even after he was born, he crossed his birth weight but he was still measuring very small. So they kept telling me he's not even at one percentile at this point. Again, I know the measurements are with different babies and I don't know if this is, I know I shouldn't be focusing on numbers and but what one,
Lisa (47m 54s): It's hard not to when they're focusing on it though, right? Yeah. And like you said, those growth percentiles are based on white babies. Yeah, so different. Yeah. Like we need more research.
Aatreyi (48m 4s): Yeah, they definitely need a bigger pool of people for sure. But yeah, anyway, and they were, in fact at one point they even asked me, I think at Metropolitan, they asked me, are you sure about your due date? Are you sure about when you conceived? 'cause maybe this is the premature baby 'cause he's so small. I was like, no, I'm very confident of my calculations and everything. 'cause I was logging everything. I was using apps to track things. So they're like, oh, okay, if you're saying this is not a premature baby, then yeah, he is measuring small. Yeah. Anyway, percentiles have not been my friend.
And one thing though, they did at least Tribeca Pediatrics, they told me, okay, this is what you, we recommend you do is you pump and you give him by the bottle. So you can always measure how much he's having at the breast. I had asked them about tongue ties. Every professional, I asked about tongue ties And he said he has a very mild tongue tie. It shouldn't come as an issue for breastfeeding. I don't know if that has been a problem. But anyway, that's when we pivoted towards knee pumping and giving him pumped milk by the bottle.
So I can always measure how he's doing. And when we went for a two month appointment, his weight was up. He was exactly at one percentile. So it's not ideal, but they're like, at least he's one percentile. So they're like, it's okay. And pumping was also driving me crazy. Sometimes your supply is all over the place and it's such a catch 22. If you are not feeling well, your mood is low, you are stressed, that affects your supply and you want your supply to be high and that's how you will feel happier. So it's just, it's really a catch 22. So I was struggling with the pumping, the schedule.
I was pumping every one hour. And then I think some, one of the practitioners we met told us we need to, even the pumping that you do, it needs to be two to three hours apart, feed the pump like your baby. So your baby has to feed two to three hours apart. Even your pumping schedule has to be two to three hours apart. You can't be pumping every 13 minutes, every one hour. And I think that was actually very good advice. 'cause when I started facing upper pumping, my supply was more regular. I got the same amount almost every time instead of randomly getting small amounts and randomly getting large amounts.
So yeah, I think at around six weeks he also, because of his percentile and weight issues, we started supplementing with formula. So one or two feeds, we would do formula and the rest of the feeds we would, we would do the pumped breast milk. Yeah, breastfeeding has been a lot of, it's been rocky as well. I won't deny it. There have been a lot of days I've cried and the day we started formula, I was crying and I think I felt like there was so much pressure to breastfeed and I really wanted to breastfeed and I, I felt like, am I feeling that I was not able to breastfeed. But yeah, anyway, all said and done.
I think once we started formula, I felt like a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders. At least one or two. I could give myself more breaks and I could pump at a higher, like at a lower frequency and spaced out more. But yeah, now we are, we have a routine where we do a couple of formula feeds. We do the pump breast milk and to actually help him encourage his gaining weight, we fortify my breast milk, which is to add a pinch of formula to my breast milk. That's again, something Tribeca told us to do so that it encourages his weight gain.
So yeah, that's the schedule we are at right now. I'm doing much better mentally. But there have been many mental breakdowns in the journey of breastfeeding and figuring out how much formula to give and things like that.
Lisa (51m 26s): Yeah, I'll just keep on saying what I, you've probably heard me say many times that breastfeeding is so emotionally fraught and there's no way that we can fully understand that until we're in it. You just can't. There's only so much you can prepare for it. And I'm a big believer in education, but still education and support are both so important and having good support makes a big difference as you've been saying, like through labor and yeah, beyond.
But that conflicting advice is also really challenging because
Aatreyi (52m 1s): Very challenging. And as as I was saying, so I have those friends who gave birth around the same time as me and they were having their own breastfeeding journeys and we have this group of these us mom friends and each person sharing their breastfeeding journey made me realize that yeah, each person is in it with their own very unique journey with it. One of my friends, she had difficulty in the beginning, but now her baby is fully only breastfeeding and probably not on the bottle at all. And now my baby is fully on the bottle and doesn't really breastfeed at all.
And that's completely fine. I think ultimately it's about the baby growing, being happy, being healthy, and even us as mothers being mentally Me too. Yeah. Because I think I was really putting a lot of pressure on myself pumping so much and just being so stressed about his weight and putting him on the breast all the time. Yeah. And I was really confident of breastfeeding within my cholesterol being produced from 19 weeks and none of my friends were having that. So I was like, oh look at that. I'm ahead of this. But yeah, not at all.
Yeah.
Lisa (53m 5s): Did you find that for a lot of us it is often easier, not always at the very beginning until the milk transitions and then there's all these new challenges. Was that, I'm trying to think of the timeline of what you were sharing. Any comments on that?
Aatreyi (53m 22s): I think we had different challenges through and through. One thing I'll say is latching was always okay. It's just that my baby would go to sleep or it just seemed like, yeah, yeah. Or he would be hungry a lot. Like he would be crying for, we don't know why he's crying 'cause we have C checked, we have the checklist of items, everything else is okay, we changed his diaper and everything, so it's just hunger. I'm like, but I just fed you what's happening? So yeah. What another thing was, I was getting mixed opinions on how long to keep baby on the breast. I think Metropolitan very clearly said 20 minutes per breast.
Tribeca Pediatrics told me 10 to 15 minutes per breast. And lactation consultant told me unlimited as when the baby is like drooping and full and lips are completely closed and he's satisfied, that's when he's done. So it's really confusing to know when to end it, when to finish breastfeeding is did he really get any, how much did he get? So that was very confusing for me. But yeah, we are in our journey today.
Lisa (54m 18s): Yeah. Yeah. I wish our pediatricians would by default get some breastfeeding education. 'cause many, I've had pediatricians in my class who've been like, I got zero hours and like Max I've heard like three. Unless they've sought out continuing ed on that, which most of them haven't. So many of them, that's one, a big reason why we get really conflicting advice between a lot of pediatricians, I feel like most here in the city and lactation consultants is it's just not their field of expertise. Even though you would think it, it seems like that's, that should be part of their education.
Yes. So that's a, that's probably the biggest reason why we get such conflicting advice I think.
Aatreyi (54m 57s): Yes, absolutely. Yeah. It was a good learning experience.
Lisa (55m 2s): Yeah. So any final, anything you haven't gotten to share that you wanted to share or any thoughts on as you're exiting the fourth trimester? Any things on that? Just any final bits of insights or wisdom that you'd like to share with growing families?
Aatreyi (55m 20s): I'm still learning so much myself. I don't feel very wise, but I think my birth story, jumping from two centimeters, 10 saying You're dilated. I think numbers have been my best friend and my enemy in all of this. Like percentiles, the weight, the dilation, all of these different numbers and metrics that are thrown at you. I think what you said in the beginning of the episode, your mind-body connection is so important and just how you're feeling is so much more important than these metrics that are thrown at you. That's one thing. And another thing is we had a birth plan that Julia and we sat down and we had very carefully curated.
We had shared the birth plan at one point, I think one of the midwives was very dismissive of which is yeah, whatever. And another mid midwife was like, yeah, sure we'll keep it in your file. And they did keep it on the file on the day of the labor and everything. But nothing went as we planned at all. I would've obviously liked a birth without the epidural and without all the different things. But I got all of them and I had a lot of mistakes along the way as well. Like I got an encouraged epidural and I got stitches redone and things just don't go as planned is my takeaway from my birth study at least.
And I would really encourage new parents to expecting parents to know that birth plan is just a design, but you have to be open to deviating from it. You have to be flexible, you have to go ad hoc what's happening with the circumstances. 'cause nothing's more important than your welfare and your baby's welfare. And I think the last but not the least would be the value of a doula. Of course Metropolitan cost us next to nothing with our insurance. And I think a major investment for us was our doula.
And I would highly recommend it was the best investment because you know, I would really like to think that we, I had a very perfect care team because my husband, he's very coach-like, And he was constantly coaching me through the birth thing And he would always be like, yeah, you can do it. You're doing great. Fantastic. This is amazing. Of course you can do it. And Julia was complimenting that with so much kindness and even when the wet tap happened, or even after I gave birth, she came to me and she, you know, she was holding my hand and she said, you've done so well. I'm so proud of you.
And when the wet tap happened, she was there and she was like, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm so sorry this is not going as planned. And that level of compassion was the complimenting with my husband’s coach-like spirit, but I think I just had such a perfect care team. I would not have it any different. She was so wonderful. And even other friends and colleagues I speak to, their doulas were just so in, so incredible in their birth experience. So yeah, I highly recommend getting a doula.
Lisa (57m 55s): I'm so glad you felt like you had a great support team. That's what counts when we survey people and what led to however it went feeling like it was a positive memory is just having felt heard and supported. Yeah. So I'm so glad that was the case for you overall.
Aatreyi (58m 16s): Yeah, and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for you, Lisa, because only through your podcast I learned so much. I learned about the kind of work you do, the doulas you have in your network. I'm really grateful and I can't say it enough, I think just hearing others' experiences through the podcast, through my friends, through your network, it's, it's really validating to know that you're not the only one who's going through these struggles. Everyone has their journey to through this. Hmm.
Lisa (58m 43s): Thank you Ari. I really appreciate all this sharing. It's just a beautiful birth story that you've shared with us. I know it's gonna really benefit listeners. Thank you. And I wish you all the best in your future parenting. I hope that we can run into each other and I can meet your baby at some point.
Aatreyi (59m 1s): Absolutely. Lisa, you're most welcome. If you are ever in East Harlem, please let us know and just thank you for having me on the podcast and giving me this platform to share my story, but feel so heard and it's just nice, these memories.
Lisa (59m 13s): Alright, so that was a three's beautiful birth story. I'm betting that a lot of you had questions about the epidural wet tap she referred to several times. So let me give you a little bit of information about this. A wet tap is an accidental dural puncture in which the needle that's used to administer the epidural anesthesia punctures the membrane surrounding the spinal cord. This results in a leak of cerebral spinal fluid. This can happen with epidural or spinal administration up to 1.5% of the time when it happens.
What's called a spinal headache can happen anywhere from one to seven days after the occurrence and is usually worse when sitting up and better when lying down. It usually resolves within a week or two as the puncture site heals. In terms of how it feels, it's described in different ways. One of the descriptions is throbbing. I three said that for her, the pain was very pronounced in the back of her neck and on her temples. She said her husband was really great about researching it and he encouraged her to step out to get fresh air on the balcony or take a walk.
These things along with taking caffeine would immediately help her. She said lying down flat without a pillow was somewhat helpful as well. Then on a separate topic, when I three pointed out that Metropolitan Hospital seemed old school and didn't use much technology, I'll point out that they do have the technology if and when they need it for sure, but they are generally better about only using interventions like technology, medication, et cetera, if and when it's necessary, or at least the midwife team is, I can't really speak much to the OBS there.
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists have pointed out that labor and delivery units in our country overuse those things and those are reasons why we're ranking toward the bottom of the developed nations in our outcomes. So I just wanted to point out that this is a good thing. Contrary to popular belief, I three mentioned in the pushing stage, the term stages, positions of the baby. The technical term for this, If you take class with me is called station, and it's a rough estimate of the vertical position of the top of the baby's head with the ischial spines where some say ischial spines at the back of the pelvis.
When those are aligned, it's called zero station above that are negative stations. And then as the baby comes down in the pushing stage, they come down into bigger plus stations, although sometimes they can come down into plus stations before pushing. And then when baby is crowning or about to be born, that's roughly plus four or plus five. I wanted to also mention that it's very common to start Pitocin along with an epidural to counteract the epidural's tendency to slow things down.
Okay, here's a sneak peek of what's up next time.
Sam (1h 2m 7s): Her pupils were as big as dinner plates. She looked like she was on drugs is what it looked like. And she was like, Sam, that's it. Like just looking at me like this. I was trying to focus on him like just focusing on just intense eye contact as the contractions went through her like a wave. And then ultimately we got you on your knees and that's where she stayed and where she delivered and everything went super smoothly after that. Yeah, I say super smoothly. It was still, it was labor. It was, yeah.
Jane (1h 2m 33s): But I think there was a moment where I was pushing and I was like, oh, did I deliver? And they were like, no, you'll know when you deliver.
Sam (1h 2m 41s): Oh yeah, there was a point. Oh man, I felt so bad. There was a point where like she pushed super hard, right? And then afterwards she asked me like a minute later, she was like, how is she? And I thought she meant like how is her heartbeat and stuff? I was like, yeah, she's good. And then I realized, oh wait, she thinks she just gave birth. She's about to be very disappointed. I was like, Jane, I hate to break this to you.
Lisa (1h 3m 6s): When I asked Aatreyi after we met, if there were any affirmations or mantras she found helpful. Here's how she replied. During labor itself, I remember what our doula has told us. One can do literally anything for a minute. Take it one minute at a time. This was a very helpful mantra during the painful contractions for postpartum, through every challenge we have faced with baby, including rough nights, his gas pains, et cetera. I found myself saying this too shall pass a lot.
As I understand it is all a phase. My close mom friends and I use this as a daily mantra now. So consider meditating on one or both of these ideas or phrases this week. As always, we're so grateful that you have taken the time today outta your busy schedule to listen to our podcast. Would you please be sure you're following or subscribed? Would you please consider sharing it with a friend? That would be so, so appreciated.
Have a wonderful week and we will see you next time. Be well.